O-My Fragile Hart-O!

Life with a heart so fragile in His hands.

Month: June, 2014

Sincerely, Forever Yours

Since the year of 2009 I had been struggling with so many different issues. I felt tired of life and did not know which direction I was walking in. God was no longer a part of me and I felt so disconnected from everything around me including myself.

However, during September 2013 there was an incentive for my life to change and in December 2013 my life began to change remarkably for the better. I have come to accept myself more and more and confidence as well as peace are the results of this. I can say that I am happy. Despite whatever my circumstances may seem like. It is well with my soul.

Of course I still have my ups and downs ( I actually might have a post about that coming soon) but I can rely on God to take care of whatever I am going through whilst having faith that I am at the right place at the right time and if I am supposed to be at a different place I will be.

Hence, this poem of gratitude to my maker. I hope you guys enjoy it. I know it’s kind of different to the usual posts.

God bless you!


Appreciation Monday: Watermelons


When one has tasted Watermelons he knows what the Angels Eat. – Mark Twain

I have started eating watermelons lately because when I eat watermelon I feel like I can conquer the world. Euphoria and joy floods my body making me feel like sixteen again.

So just a few days ago I went to the supermarket to buy my watermelons. When I reached the fruit section I noticed yellow watermelons. Of course I was curious. I picked one up, compared its weight and the consistency of its outside with the red watermelons. After I had done that I just stood there for about 10 minutes looking at them, trying to hear what my heart was telling me. I also observed other people buying this yellow watermelon.

Did these people look credible? Did they look like they took responsible decisions in life? Did they seem sane?

After going to and fro with my decision of whether or not to purchase this treasure I finally thought to myself:

“No biggie Nae, you can buy one yellow watermelon and a red one. Just to try you know.That way you don’t need to go watermelon shopping for the next two days.”

watermelonI picked the watermelons up and carried them all the way home. It’s a long way home and they were extremely heavy. I am still very impressed by my grocery bag that didn’t leave me hanging by ripping in the middle of the street as usual.

When I got home my sister was sitting in the living room. I dropped my bag with the watermelons to the floor and broke the good news to her.

“Really?” she asked. The joy for watermelon and the excitement in her voice could not be overheard. Usually I just cut the watermelon in half and spoon out the fruit, using the hard shell as a bowl. So that is what I did.

I cut my newly discovered treasure in half, took my spoon from the kitchen and proceeded to make myself comfortable at our living room table. I took the first spoon and thought:

“Okay, not great but it’s fine. I can eat this.”

Second spoon was also fine. The succeeding spoons were also pretty cool.

My sister had some and she had the same reaction as I did.

When I reached the middle of the watermelon something struck me or let us say something struck my tongue but I don’t know what it was.

From one second to the next it was like I had never eaten a watermelon as disgusting as the one I was hovering over that very moment. The consistency was like jello whilst the pulp was dissolving in its own liquid without me even touching it. It began to increasingly remind me of the taste of soap. All of a sudden I could not control my face which was making crazy grimaces. It was trying to tell me to put an end to eating this thing aka: the embodiment of pain and remorse. However since we don’t like to waste things in our household I knew I had to finish this watermelon.

I cannot stress how difficult it was but just know that at one point I began to cry

Puh… I wrestled with this watermelon I fought and fought and in the end I can proudly say that I only left 30 percent of watermelon to throw away. After that event I went to sleep in order to forget what had just happened. When I woke up it was about time to eat watermelon again. So I went into the kitchen and cut the red watermelon.

However, I treated this watermelon differently. With trembling hands I cut this one in little pieces and put them into my lunchbox for work. I cut some extra pieces for my sister and had some myself.

With each bite of red watermelon my faith in watermelonhood was being restored. A feeling of gratitude and recognition swelled up inside of me and I began to shake my head in unbelief. Was this watermelon really as good as it tasted? Was I dreaming? Was I in heaven worshipping Jesus with the angels? I didn’t understand.

watermelon2Well, I continued with packing my bag with the items I needed for work. Books, pens, folders, notebooks deodorant, wallet, the usual; still waiting to wake up. I put my shoes on and picked up my bag from the couch. Then I walked to the kitchen to pick up my watermelon lunchbox, left the kitchen, closed the apartment door behind me and began to run for the train.

Now I am sitting here in front of my computer typing this because I want to share my joy with you. If this is a dream I still haven’t woken up.

Jesus loves me this I know…. I can’t stop singing in my head. I can’t stop smiling.

Hence, this is a love letter to red watermelons. Forever, you shall remain in my heart. You are proof that the redeemer lives.

Thank you. Thank you red watermelon. I love you.

The only question that remains now is what to do with that other half of yellow watermelon in my fridge.